The Last Time

 I saw a video today of an older woman talking about "The Last Time."  How we don't know when these times are... Throughout life, we take for granted the phone calls, texts, visits with friends, with family. We don't know when that moment is the last time.

There are other times she spoke about, the last time your child will sit on your lap, that last cup of coffee with a parent, the last time you heard their voice. I thought about the hug you got from your child who is too grown up for that kiss on the cheek. 

Laughing with a friend over something only they would get, wanting to share that thought with that special person who is no longer around.  The simple things that you may not have realized were so precious. Looking back now, you see that, you feel it. The tears are mixed. You feel the joy of those moments, and you feel the pain of missing them. 

So, take a breath, feel that joy while it is happening. It is these times that used to be taken for granted, knowing now they are the most important in life.

Marge Farrington OWRO 

Older Women Rock On: Embrace the Silly during the Holidays, a Grown-Up Sleepover!

 

The holiday season is a whirlwind, isn't it? It’s filled with glittering lights, warm spices, and the comforting chaos of family gatherings. For years, we’ve been the orchestrators of that beauty—the chief planners, the perfect-meal-makers, the memory keepers.

But let's be honest: all that planning can drain the joy right out of the jingle bells. We often forget that we, too, need a break to simply be—to laugh until our sides hurt and to let go of the need for everything to be flawless.

This year, forget the perfectly laid tables and the pristine hostess performance. This year, we’re trading the stress for sparkle and giving ourselves permission to be profoundly, hilariously silly.

Your antidote to holiday stress? The Grown-Up Slumber Party.

🛌 Bring Back the Slumber Party: A No-Stress Zone

The rules are simple: No deep cleaning, no detailed schedules, and absolutely no stress talk. This is pure, unadulterated friend time—a throwback to the days when all that mattered was junk food, fun pajamas, and talking until 3 AM.

Location, Location, Laughter!

The best part? You have options, and both guarantee zero hosting stress while staying in:

Home Base: Host the party at one friend's house. The rule is that the host only provides the space—everyone else brings a snack, a blanket, and their own goofy spirit. No cleaning or elaborate preparation is allowed.

Holiday Hideaway (Motel/Hotel): This is the ultimate stress-remover. Book a suite at a local motel or hotel. This option instantly turns the gathering into a mini-vacation. No one has to clean up afterward, you can order room service breakfast, and the environment feels totally separate from your everyday responsibilities. (Tip: Look for suites with pull-out couches or adjoining rooms for the perfect slumber-party vibe!)

The Mandatory Checklist for Maximum Merriment:

Ugly Pajamas Only: This is non-negotiable. Break out the flannel, the mismatched socks, the questionable patterns, and anything with Santa's face on it. The goal is to be comfortable and ridiculous.

The Snacking Revival: Forget the cheese boards. We’re bringing back the food of our youth: microwave popcorn, instant hot cocoa, build-your-own ice cream sundaes (with too many sprinkles), and those nostalgic candies we forgot existed. Pair it with a nice bottle of wine or bubbly—it's the perfect grown-up twist.

Embrace the Glamour Fail: Face masks, hair rollers, and a mutual agreement to try that glittery eye shadow you'd never wear outside the house. It's about being messy, comfortable, and feeling pampered together.

Nostalgia Hour: Bring old photo albums or play board games from the 80s and 90s. There’s nothing that generates pure, honest laughter like reminiscing over terrible past fashion choices and unforgettable stories.

🤣 Quick Hits of Holiday Goofiness for Staying In

If a full sleepover isn't on the calendar, you can still inject some silliness into the season with your friends without leaving the house.

The White Elephant "Regift the Relic": Challenge everyone to bring the most absurd, unused item they currently own. The fun is in the history and the shared horror/laughter of these forgotten relics.

The Bad Holiday Craft Night: Gather cheap, chaotic crafting supplies—glitter glue, pipe cleaners, googly eyes. The mission: create the most intentionally terrible holiday ornament possible. The goal is failure, not perfection.

Retro Game Night: Dust off those old board games (or find modern silly ones!) like Twister, Cranium, or even charades. A little friendly, uncompetitive competition can lead to huge laughs.

🎁 Older Women Rock On: Give Yourself the Gift of Joy

The holidays are fleeting, but the memories we make when we allow ourselves to be truly us—unfiltered, happy, and a little bit silly—are the ones that last.

As older women, we have earned the right to prioritize joy! Your friends are waiting to laugh with you. Go send that invitation. Put on the silly pajamas. And remember: You already rock on, now it's time to play on.

Marge Farrington OWRO

The Ghost of You

I heard something today about change and the "ghost of you" meaning who you used to be...I feel most of who I was even from a child is much of who I am now, at 68 years old.  I don't know if it was the placement in my family, 5th of 6 children, middle daughter.

Maybe part of me is the environment I grew up in, nice home, always neat, clean, organized. Didn't have to worry about food, shelter, clothing. But seemed to be a target for my mother. She had her own "ghost of her." My mom grew up in a home that was nice, nothing lacking, but there was physical abuse that she never talked about, but was known. I believe alcohlism, my grandfather.

My mother had me and we moved when I was around 1 1/2 years old. She was on medication and could not get it right away as she needed a new doctor. She began to drink and then continue once she did get medication. Many women back then were given shock treatments, my mom was one. I don't know the exact number, but there were many. Anyway, for whatever reason, her focus was on me so many times, verbally and physically.

In school, I started getting bullied in 5th grade, went on until 9th. Later on, the term for these girls was 'mean girls." I had close friends, but these girls were on my school bus and would also get other girls I didn't know to come after me. I was a skinny kid, but I always stood up for myself, maybe because I had 3 older brothers. All this is a part of me. The difference now it doesn't haunt me. I came to understand my mom was sick. These girls, I don't know why they were the way that they were, maybe they continued to be bullies in other ways when they grew up. Maybe they regretted it. I will never know.

What I do know is, part of me that is not afraid to speak out, speak up, is from all those years. The friends I had got me through those times. Their support, their friendship, is priceless. I am still friends with a few of them this many years later.

I am still working on my knee-jerk reaction to situations, to people. I am still working on not taking things personally. We don't know what other people are going through. Sometimes we take things personally, and it has nothing to do with us. We just might be you're the one caught in the crossfire.

Until a few years ago, I was not in the space I am now. I would get panic attacks out of nowhere. I could be having a nice visit and have to excuse myself. This is "work" I will always be doing. It is an awareness I need as I don't want to fall back on my old ways of looking at things.  That part of the "Ghost of me" will always be with me. But I need to make sure it is not a part of me. T

The parts of the "Ghost of Me" that I embrace is the strength I learned I had, the value of true friends, looking at people and not taking everything personally, having confidence in myself.  I think of the girl I was, I can't go back in time and give her a hug. But somehow, once in a while I close my eyes,  see her, smile, and yes, give her a hug. Just maybe that part of the "Ghost of Me" will feel it.

The Ghost of Me doesn't haunt; it informs. I carry the lessons of my past without carrying the burden of other people’s pain. It took 68 years to get here, and the work continues. Do you feel the same way? Tell us: What is the biggest difference between the "you" you were ten years ago and the woman you are today?

Marge Farrington OWRO

🤧 Older Women Wisdom: The Immunity Boost for Cold & Flu Season

As the weather cools and we naturally transition our lives indoors, we know a thing or two about navigating cold and flu season. We've seen trends come and go, but the simple, time-tested acts of self-care and prevention remain the most effective. For those of us who are well-seasoned, staying vibrant and healthy isn't just about luck—it's about confidently applying our Elder Wisdom.

As the weather cools and we naturally transition our lives indoors, we know a thing or two about navigating cold and flu season. We've seen health trends come and go, but the simple, time-tested acts of self-care and prevention remain the most effective. For those of us who are well-seasoned, staying vibrant and healthy isn't just about luck—it's about confidently applying our Older Women Wisdom.

This November, let’s tap into that wisdom to keep our immune systems strong so we can continue to rock on, effortlessly, through the winter!

🛡️ Foundational Health: The Non-Negotiables of a Wise Woman

Before you pull out the honey and lemon, remember that the most powerful immunity booster in your arsenal is strategic prevention. Our years of experience remind us that taking a few minutes for health now saves days of feeling under the weather later.

Vaccines Are Your Shield: A Confident Choice. As we gather inside with family and friends this season, protecting ourselves is an act of self-respect and care for our loved ones. If you haven't yet, make sure you are confidently up-to-date on these crucial vaccines:

The Annual Flu Shot: Always essential, as the strains change yearly.

COVID-19 Booster: Stay current with the latest recommendations for your age group.

Pneumonia Shot: A critical protection layer, especially for older adults.

Shingles Vaccine: Often overlooked, but an important part of mature health maintenance.

🥣 Comfort & Cure: Recipes That Warm the Soul (and Boost the Gut)

A powerful, resilient immune system starts in the kitchen. We’ve collected a lifetime of recipes that are more than just delicious—they are simple, healing elixirs.

Older Women Wisdom Comfort Recipes:

The Healing Bone Broth: Whether you simmer chicken, beef, or vegetable scraps, a rich, slow-simmered broth is a classic powerhouse of collagen and minerals. It’s the ultimate comfort for the gut, where much of your immune strength resides.

Honey & Lemon Soother: The original cold remedy! Mix hot water with a generous spoonful of honey (a natural cough suppressant) and the juice of half a fresh lemon (Vitamin C boost). Simple, effective, and deeply soothing for a scratchy throat.

Garlic & Ginger Power Tea: Forget the pricey supplements. A simple homebrew of hot water, fresh grated ginger, and a clove or two of minced garlic is a potent, soothing tonic.

The Anti-Inflammatory Turmeric Paste: Mix turmeric powder with black pepper (to aid absorption) and warm it with milk for a nourishing, soothing "Golden Latte."

Call to Action for Readers: We all have that one recipe we swear by when a chill strikes. What is your go-to family recipe for health and comfort? Share your secret immunity weapon in the comments below!

🧘 Lifestyle Adjustments: The Time-Tested Trifecta of Well-Being

This is where true Older Women Wisdom shines: recognizing that your schedule and self-respect are your primary medicine. You have earned the right to prioritize your peace.

Prioritize Restful Sleep: Do not view rest as a luxury, but as a mandatory, non-negotiable immune-building session. Aim for 7–8 hours of quality, uninterrupted sleep every night. This is when your body repairs and regenerates.

Embrace Warm Hydration: Staying properly hydrated keeps your body functioning optimally and helps keep viruses from settling in. Focus on comforting, warm liquids: herbal teas, warm water with lemon, and, of course, your homemade broths.

Gentle, Light Movement: We know better than to push our bodies when they need support. A brisk, mindful walk in the fresh air, gentle stretching, or a short, joint-friendly yoga or Tai Chi session helps boost lymph flow and reduces stress, which are vital for a strong immune response.

💡 Traditional Remedies & Rituals That Still Work

We grew up with simple, effective rituals—and they remain excellent ways to find relief and speed recovery.

Vapor & Steam: At the first sign of congestion, use a humidifier or create a simple steam treatment. Carefully stand over a bowl of steaming hot water with a towel tented over your head to clear sinuses and soothe your throat.

Salty Rinse: Trust the classics! Gargle with warm salt water immediately if you feel a tickle in your throat to reduce inflammation and wash away germs.

Remember, taking excellent care of yourself is a privilege earned through wisdom and experience. 

Let’s make this season our healthiest yet!

 Marge Farrington OWRO

Older Women, Journaling Your Feelings

 How many times have you heard that journaling is a powerful tool for mental clarity, stress reduction, and emotional balance? You hear it for good reason: it’s medically and scientifically proven to help regulate your nervous system and process difficult thoughts. The goal is to externalize your emotions—to get them out of your head and into a format you can observe.

While traditional handwriting offers the deepest cognitive and neurological engagement (maximizing the benefits of Expressive Writing), the truth is, you don't need a fancy notebook and perfect penmanship to reap the benefits.

All the methods below are supported by science to reduce stress and boost well-being. You simply need to find the method that allows you to be the most consistent and honest.

1. ⌨️ Digital Journaling: The Organized Option (Backed by Cognitive Processing Studies)

If you're comfortable on your laptop, tablet, or phone, typing out your feelings is a fantastic, fast option. Typing still engages your brain in the process of cognitive restructuring—organizing jumbled thoughts into a linear narrative. This process is essential for gaining insight and distance from your emotions.

Recommendation: Google Notes (Keep)

Google Keep is an excellent, free tool for emotional journaling:

Easy Access: It’s a simple app for your phone or tablet and is also available right on your computer through the web.

Simple Organization: Use Labels (Folders) to organize your entries (e.g., "Daily Reflections" or "Gratitude List"). Start each note with the date (e.g., 2025-11-12) to keep things in chronological order.

Search Power: Use the powerful search function to quickly identify emotional patterns over time.

2. 🎤 Verbal Processing: Talk It Out (Backed by Affect Labeling Research)

If putting pen to paper or fingers to keys feels restrictive, talking it out is a powerful, medically-supported alternative. This is known in psychology as Affect Labeling. Neuroimaging studies show that the simple act of speaking and naming an emotion significantly reduces activity in the amygdala (the brain's fear center), promoting calmness and rational thinking.

How to Do It:

Use Your Phone/Tablet: Every modern device has a built-in Voice Memos or Recorder app.

On Your Computer: Use built-in voice recording software (like Voice Recorder or QuickTime).

Digital Recorders: If you want a dedicated, simple-to-use device, digital voice recorders are still widely available and offer excellent audio quality. (While old-school cassette recorders can still be found at specialty retailers, digital is usually easier for daily use!)

🧐 The Scientific Payoff: Why Reviewing Your Feelings Helps

Journaling is not a one-and-done process. The true power of consistent journaling—whether handwritten, typed, or recorded—comes when you go back and review what you wrote. This transforms a momentary release into a tool for long-term growth.

You may be surprised at how much this simple act helps you grow and heal:

1. Creates Cognitive Distance and Insight

The Surprise Factor: When you are caught in an intense emotion, it feels all-consuming. Reading an entry from a week or a month ago allows you to view that past self from a safe distance.

Scientific Reason: This distance is called cognitive defusion (or psychological distancing). It moves you out of the emotional "hot seat" and into the role of a neutral observer. When you read about past struggles, your brain can process them without the intense hormonal rush of the original event, promoting deep insight.

2. Highlights Emotional Progress and Resilience

You Solved It! Reviewing old entries is often a powerful reminder that you survived a situation or solved a problem that felt insurmountable at the time.

Scientific Reason: This provides immediate evidence of your resilience and self-efficacy (your belief in your ability to succeed). Seeing proof of your past success reinforces a positive "I can do this" mindset and strengthens your ability to handle current and future stress.

3. Identifies Patterns and Triggers

Forecasting Your Emotions: Do certain days, times, or specific situations reliably trigger a negative mood or reaction? You won't know unless you have a record to examine.

Scientific Reason: Reviewing your entries allows you to become your own behavioral scientist. By noticing recurring themes, you can proactively avoid triggers or prepare healthier coping strategies before a stressful situation arises—a key principle in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

✨ Your Journaling Motto: Consistency Over Perfection

Start with just 5 minutes a day, and find the flow—handwriting, typing, or talking—what works for you!

Let us know what you choose, how it is going in the comments!

Marge Farrington OWRO

Older Women Rock On: Spreading Holiday Cheer – Giving Back in Every Way!

 

The holiday season is here, and with it comes a beautiful opportunity to open our hearts and give back to our communities. Here at "Older Women Rock On," we believe that giving knows no age, no income bracket, and certainly no limits on creativity! Whether you have ample resources, a little to spare, or just a truly generous spirit and some time, there are countless ways you can make a profound difference this holiday season.

Let's explore how we, as amazing older women, can spread joy and support those in need – both two-legged and four-legged!

💰 Giving from the Heart: Resources Big and Small

For many of us, the holidays are a time when we can financially contribute. This might look like:

Donating to Reputable Charities: Many organizations work tirelessly during the holidays to provide food, shelter, and gifts to families and individuals in need. Even a small monetary donation can go a long way in providing a warm meal or a much-needed gift.

Shopping for a Cause: Consider "adopting" a family or a senior through local programs, where you can fulfill their specific wish lists for gifts or essential items. Many communities have programs through churches, community centers, or social services.

🐾 Supporting Families with Pets: Food and Care

Pets are family, and no senior or family should have to choose between feeding themselves or their beloved companion.

Animal Rescues and Shelters: Organizations like the Humane Society of the United States and the ASPCA always welcome donations. However, seek out local animal shelters and rescue groups that often have wish lists for specific items like food, blankets, and toys.

Pet Food Banks: Many local Meals on Wheels providers and general food banks now offer pet assistance programs to help families and seniors who are struggling. Monetary donations or donations of cat and dog food, cat litter, and even veterinary care can directly support these efforts.

⏱️ Giving Your Time: The Priceless Gift

Financial contributions are wonderful, but your time and compassion are equally, if not more, valuable. If monetary donations aren't feasible, consider these impactful ways to give back:

Highlight: Meals on Wheels

An excellent national program that focuses on the well-being of seniors is Meals on Wheels. This network of local providers delivers not just nutritious meals, but also crucial safety checks and friendly companionship to homebound seniors across the country.

Volunteer Driver: This is a perfect way to give about an hour of your time, offering both a meal and a friendly face to a senior in your area.

Other Opportunities: Many local Meals on Wheels programs also need volunteers for tasks like meal packing, pet food packaging (for their clients' pets!), and administrative support. To find a program and specific needs in your community, you can start by visiting the Meals on Wheels America website.

Creative Ways to Volunteer:

Be a "Card Angel": This is a beautiful, low-cost way to give meaningful support.

Foster Children: Organizations like Cards for Kids or local foster care agencies often coordinate programs where you can send uplifting, handmade, or store-bought holiday cards directly to children in foster care.

Elderly Residents: Many nursing homes and assisted living facilities appreciate cards sent to residents who feel isolated. A heartfelt note wishing someone well can truly brighten their day.

Connect with Seniors: Check with local nursing homes to see if you can volunteer to read, help decorate, or simply spend time chatting with residents who may not have family nearby.

💖 Share Your Sparkle: Let's Inspire Each Other!

Whether you signed up to deliver meals, dedicated an afternoon to walking shelter dogs, or simply sent a handful of heartfelt holiday cards, you are making a magnificent difference. Every single act of kindness, big or small, contributes to a happier, healthier, and more compassionate world.

We want to hear from you!

In the comments below, please share your giving ideas, your favorite national or local charities, or tell us about a simple act of service you plan to do this season! Let's use this space to inspire each other and keep the rock-on spirit of giving going all year long.

Talkin' to Myself

I found myself humming The Carpenters' "Rainy Days and Mondays" the other morning while struggling to open a jar of pickles. You know the line I mean, the one that sometimes feels like a whisper in our ear:

“Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old Sometimes I’d like to quit Nothin’ ever seems to fit”

That last line, “Nothin’ ever seems to fit.” It’s a feeling I think many of us experience, a kind of existential low hum that accompanies this new chapter of life.

The Things We Took For Granted

No one really prepares you for the sheer volume of changes that arrive once the main act of raising a family or building a career winds down. It’s not just the big stuff; it’s the quiet erosion of the easy things.

The sudden, baffling difficulty of simple, physical tasks: twisting a lid, wrestling with a manual can opener, or simply reaching for that top shelf item. These are things we never registered as "effort," and now they demand focus, strategy, and sometimes, a little huff of frustration.

Then there are the aches and pains that arrive unannounced and take up permanent residence—the ones we can’t quite explain and certainly didn't sign up for.

The Weight of Loss and Transition

The physical changes are one thing, but the emotional landscape is another entirely. Getting older involves a profound amount of loss and shifting.

Our children are grown and gone, creating quiet houses and changing family dynamics.

We've downsized, or we're contemplating it, which means letting go of a space that held a lifetime of memories.

We miss the family we don't see as frequently.

We grieve the friendships that faded, either through death or simply growing apart due to distance or different paths.

This accumulation of changes, transitions, and genuine loss can leave us feeling adrift, like a boat whose anchor has been lifted. Sometimes, we just feel lost.

The Flow of the Creek

For a long time, my instinct was to block these feelings—to power through, to pretend they didn't exist. That never worked. It just created a dam, and the pressure built up until I felt truly overwhelmed.

What I've learned is that the only way through the emotions is acknowledgment.

Now, when those feelings of sadness, isolation, or loss surface, I stop and take a moment. I sit with them. I picture a creek flowing over stones. I gently place the acknowledged emotion—the sadness over a lost friend, the loneliness in an empty room—into the creek water, and I watch it flow by. It’s not about fixing it or stopping it; it’s about giving it passage.

Finding the Forward Motion

Acknowledging the emotional doesn't mean ignoring the physical. Instead of lamenting the things I can no longer do easily, I'm trying to pivot toward finding assistance and strength.

I search for ways to build back strength where I can, finding small exercises that help with balance or grip. I look for better tools—a quality electric can opener, a clever jar opener—to remove unnecessary daily frustration. And for the aches and pains, I am seeking help, researching what can be done, and learning how to manage this new body I live in.

This isn't about being "perky" or subscribing to some cheerful, airbrushed ideal of aging. It's about being real. It’s about accepting the transition, feeling the feelings, and then, finding the genuine, grounded ways to deal with the physical challenges so we can keep our feet firmly on the path forward.

Because while some days feel like "Rainy Days and Mondays," we still have a lot of life to live. And if we can talk about the messy, real parts honestly, we can certainly rock on.

Marge Farrington OWRO 11/8. 2025