How the Obsession with Appearance Erases the True Self

 

I remember looking at my grandmother and seeing wisdom. I had a profound respect for her. As I got older, I wish I had lived closer; I know I would have learned so much from her. She was a library of experience, and her very presence was a lesson in how to live.

The Cost of the Youth Obsession

But today? Older people, especially older women, are simply looked at as "old."

Our entire society is laser-focused on youth. It’s an exhausting, constant conditioning, pushing people to want to stay young—almost like a fear is instilled that aging is a failure.

I’m fortunate to have lived to be almost 70 years old. I don't see this as a problem to be solved; I see it as a privilege. There are many people who don't get this chance. Instead of being viewed as a blessing and treated with respect, age is now treated like a defect.

The Superficial Trap

This is where we have lost our way. Our society simply doesn't value the experience of older people. Instead, we value one thing above all: appearance.

The numbers tell the story: Girls and teens up to 19 are getting elective procedures, from nose jobs and ears to breast reductions. The volume of procedures for women aged 20 to 60 is in the millions. We have become a culture that values the superficial more than anything else.

My grandmother had hair that was a beautiful white. She wore practical house dresses with a sweater on her shoulders. She was beautiful. Her beauty was the kind you earn; it wasn’t manufactured.

By focusing so obsessively on appearance, we have lost so much. We've put immense pressure on women to live up to something superficial, a shallow ideal that is both impossible to maintain and ultimately worthless.

Reclaiming Our Value

I want a productive, content present and future. And I know you do too.

It’s time to push back on this youth-obsessed narrative. We need to remember that our value isn't measured by the smoothness of our skin or the absence of grey hair. Our value is in the decades of experience, the lessons learned, and the resilience built that allows us to stand here today.

We are not "just old." We are women who have earned our wisdom, and it’s a gold we should not let this society ignore.

Through the Ages

             
                                                                         

Teens and older adults have a few things in common.

Both usually don't like the way they look. Both are self conscious about the way we look. Teens may have acne, their bodies are going through changes. Older people, their bodies are changing, they see lines on their faces, we don't like what;s happening to our bodies.

 Both are facing their unknown futures. For teens, fear of adulthood, they may be pulled one way by their parents, friends, other people they love. For older people, it may be their fear of death, fear of the unknown. Family, friends, people that are no longer in your life.

There's an adjustment for older women. I don't feel like a woman in her 60's. I never really thought much about aging in my early 50's. I realized in my mid 50's the way other people saw me had changed.

We are constantly hit with advertising about aging, from magical lotions, facial treatments, to make you look years younger, of course the hair dyes to cover your gray, to medical remedies, drugs that have more possible side effects than benefits.

Our society sends out messages that aging is a bad thing, instead of the fact that it is a natural process. Who wants to be around a negative reminder of your own future? After all, we live in the land of denial.

All the ads we are bombarded with focus youth, staying young, instead of our health and the importance of it.  I think it all sinks into our subconscious.. it is not just ads. It has become a cultural attitude.

Our final destination is ignored. When younger people look at us, I really believe we are a reminder of their own mortality.

Maybe I have it wrong. What are your thoughts?