Aging Gratefully

Something now in my late 60's I have just realized. I can see it when I am out at a store and have a short conversation with people younger than me. I see it in their eyes, their expression. It's like they don't hear what I am saying, they just see the age on my face. I wonder if I did this when I was younger. 

Funny, up to the last couple of years, walking, talking, I didn't feel different, even after foot surgery, I just looked at it as something I needed to do, to just get through it. If you've ever had foot surgery, there is a lot of pain, healing and a ton of patience needed. 

But it's just recently not because of my body, it's the feeling I get out in public. Everything has a title now I guess it's ageism, Invisible Woman Phenomenon, I just know it's how I feel. I have never been one who cared to be noticed. That is not what this is about, sometimes I am sure it's just me.

I still look through a window at the world, but now it feels like younger people look at me like a mirror of their own fears about aging, or at least a reminder.

How can i get across that growing up I saw my grandmother as beautiful. Her white, soft hair, her beautiful eyes, the sound of her voice. I looked forward to her hugs. I missed that when she died.

Our society is focused on youth. How to stay young, dread getting older, like we do something wrong when we age. It's funny, experience counts in jobs, in careers, many people love old houses, antiques...men ...

The "Silver Fox" trope: Men like George Clooney or Harrison Ford are seen as having reached their peak attractiveness in their 50s and 60s.

The Narrative: For men, aging is often seen as "character building." Each line on a man’s face is treated like a badge of experience. For women, those same lines are often treated as something to be "corrected" or hidden,

I’ve been looking at the women who refuse to hide, the ones who treat their faces like a victory lap rather than a tragedy to be fixed. The Relatable Rebels: Sally Field & Jamie Lee Curtisake Sally Field. She’s been honest about the fact that she doesn't always love what she sees in the mirror—she’s human! She recently called the idea that we should be ashamed of aging a "crock." She refuses to go under the knife because she finds her satisfaction in the natural beauty of being a grandmother and a woman who has earned her place. She is proof that you can be "unseen" by a shallow industry while remaining profoundly powerful and authentic.

Then there’s Jamie Lee Curtis, our "Pro-Aging" warrior. She doesn't pretend it’s easy. She admitted, "Of course I care" about how I look, but she cares more about the truth. By embracing her silver hair and mocking the "duck lip" filler trends, she’s telling us that the "cosmeceutical industrial complex" doesn't own her. Her face belongs to her, and her alone.The "Elderesses": Frances McDormand & Emma Thompson

Frances McDormand doesn't want to be "young"—she wants to be an "Elderess." She views her wrinkles as "nature’s way of tattooing," a road map of every laugh, every grief, and every lesson. To her, an older woman isn't "fading"; she is a walking card catalogue of invaluable information.

Emma Thompson takes it a step further, calling the pressure to stay unlined a "form of collective psychosis." She wants her face to move. She wants her children to see when she is "pissed, happy, or confounded." She showed her untreated body on screen in her 60s to remind us that our bodies at this age aren't a secret to be kept—they are a story still worth telling.

The Swagger: Helen Mirren

Finally, there is Helen Mirren, who at 80, hates the phrase "aging gracefully." She prefers "Aging Gratefully." She views every year as a lucky opportunity to stay engaged with the world. She calls her makeup bag her "Swagger Bag"—not because she’s hiding her age, but because she’s using her style to announce her confidence.

So, with them in mind, I am posting a photo of myself on this blog.

Thanks Helene, I like "Aging Gratefully."

Let me know in the comments how you are aging gratefully! This is a sbuject to be continued!

Marge Farrington OWRO

The image is mine